Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Nobody needs cupcakes...
I'm sitting here eating cupcakes for breakfast. That's right - cupcakes. I'm also dealing with day three of a horrendous period. Just try to take my cupcakes away and see what happens...

Yesterday I worked from 9:30 am to 10:30 pm with a couple breaks. Today I'm working from around 8:30 to 4:30 or 5-ish. I love it. I started my "new job" at Carpenter's Son yesterday. It's great. I'm scheduled about 20 hours on the floor and the other 20 (or so) I can determine on my own. I have control. I need that.

Hey, Steve...are you still alive? I haven't heard from you in a while. Of course, I haven't surfed blogs very faithfully lately, for lack of internet time. I'll get better; I promise.

It's been a little while...
RTQ 2/31/06: What are your comfort foods?

Sunday, January 15, 2006

My Sunday morning conversation:
Me: [laughing and looking at Jim] You need to pick your nose.
I do?
Yes. The right side.
[picks nose]
[laughing again] Now your nose hair is sticking out.
[laughing a LOT]
[to Nolynn] Shut up, little man; you'll be old and hairy some
Nolynn: [laughs, then pauses]...It'll probably be a Saturday...

Friday, January 06, 2006

Fighting an addiction I never had...sorta...
OK, so here's something maybe not many know about me. I dream about smoking. I dream about smoking a LOT. When I dream about smoking, I wake up craving a cigarette BADLY. For hours. Here's the fun part: I've never smoked. EVER. Not even socially. The best I can figure is that it's something psychological based on all of the second-hand smoke I received for the first 18 years of my life. It's a rough theory, but it's all I got.

And to add to the weird...
I painted my fingernails this morning. In an actual color. I never do this. We'll see how long it lasts...

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I [heart] Canada!
This is a tribute to all of those wonderful Canadians I miss. And to all of the dumb people who stereotype them and their country. This is an e-mail I received from Cassandra.

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!). Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.