Sunday, November 30, 2008


(at Panera's earlier)

Jim: What do you want?
Me: I'd like a chicken-bacon-dijon, minus the dijon, with chips on the side.  If they don't have that sandwich, make it a smokehouse turkey without the sauce.  Also, a plain bagel sliced, but not toasted, and no cream cheese.  And a Dr. Pepper-large.
Jim: OK, Sally.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A quandary of sorts...
We really love our dogs.  We do.  But we're having SO much trouble selling this house because of them.  Showings are limited, because of needing so much prep time because of them, and when we have had actual showings, people have mentioned that the house "smells of dog".  In preparation for this last open house, I cleaned this place from top to bottom over the course of four days.  The dogs don't even have access to most of the house-just the living room and kitchen, neither of which have carpet.  I killed myself to make this place look and (so I thought) smell good.  The one couple that came through smelled the dogs.  And they were at my parents'  What do we do?  How can we sell this house with those dogs here?  I don't think we can.  We can't afford a mortgage and rent, let alone two mortgages.  I just don't know what to do.

NO, we're not getting rid of the dogs.  We love them very much.  But we've got to find a solution to this problem.  We've talked about renting the house over the winter and trying to sell it again once warmer weather hits, but we'll just have to see how that goes.  It seems like a good idea. 

I wonder if I know anyone with a bit of land and a love for dogs, who'd like to adopt them for a couple months.

On a fun note...
I love getting mail.  It's actually one of the things I look forward to every day.  Yesterday, for some unknown reason, I forgot to get it out of the mailbox.  Know what that means?  I got to get mail twice today.  Woot!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

I'm working on three ads to place in our local paper.  Tell me what you think:

Absolutely free: One pure-bred Golden Retriever male, 8 years old.  Stubborn, insistent, and rude.  Destroys furniture, sheds incessantly, and will relieve himself on flooring whenever he feels like it.  Barks for no reason, and continuously until let in.  Regularly offends people by going between their legs to get attention, of which he can never get enough.

Absolutely free: One German Shepherd mix female, 7 years old.  Barks viscously at all people, although too scared to ever actually get near them.  She will never get close enough for you to pet her, and will piss herself if you try.  Enjoys rawhide bones, which result in massive bouts of diarrhea in the house.

Absolutely free: One pure-bred boxer male, 4 years old.  Barks at nothing whenever outside, and will only come in if bribed.  Whines incessantly in the morning until let out, starting as early as 6am.  When pissing in the house, although not frequent, prefers to do so in a long, winding stream so as to make it very difficult to clean up.  Eats anything and everything he can find.  But, not to worry, you will see it again, as he pukes up the contents of his stomach two-three times a week, always in a corner.

OK, so truthfully, we can't get rid of our dogs.  We love them too much.  But holy HELL, they're difficult.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


Wow.  A Democratic President, House, and Senate.

May God have mercy on us all.